Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. Eighteen years! I don’t know about you, but in my book, that’s a pretty long time!
Many people ask how we do it. How have we lasted so long? Considering that we were young when we met and that half of all marriages end in divorce? I honestly don’t have a definitive answer for this question because I think there are many possible reasons. Maybe they all just function together somehow to help make us successful in marriage.
Of course love, respect, honesty, and trust certainly factor in. Not just as buzz words, but as daily philosophies to honor.
In addition, we were both children of divorces – multiple divorces on both sides. Each of our fathers have been married three times, and our mothers twice. I do think this has made our resolve to make it work all the more strong.
To me, this says it all. Marriage is about compromise.
I’m not talking about what many people might think of as compromise – giving up who you are or what you believe in. But true compromise. The kind where you meet halfway to find that middle ground. Where sometimes you have to work, and work, and work at it until you come to an answer.
Marriage is work after all. Anyone who tells you otherwise is probably newlywed, divorced or has never been married.
Everyday we have to use the one tool in our marriage toolkit that makes all the difference – communication. To me that is what compromise means…using your communication skills (along with all the others I already listed) to come to an agreement. Or to simply agree to disagree – for now.
Maybe you are wondering at this point what all this has to do with bare walls?
You see, my husband and I have very distinct styles – we are such different people – They do say that opposites attract, right? Add to that, we are both very strong, opinionated individuals.
After 18 years of marriage, this has translated, for us, into walls that are still an open canvas – mostly. We do have kid art that is displayed at various intervals around the house. That was an easy one!
I do hope that someday soon we will decide on some pieces that we will both love and that will make our house become even more of a home.
But for now, in these walls I see all the hope and possibility that I felt when I took my vows eighteen years ago today.And a whole lot of love doesn’t hurt either! I love you honey! Happy Anniversary!